Coffin man & his noisy chums

That's it

2009-06-17T19:37:00.002+01:00

All over. We are gone. Our affair lasted 212 days or 7 months or 18,316,800 seconds or 305,280 minutes or 5088 hours or approx 30 weeks....

What a waste of time.

Deaf

2009-06-08T23:49:00.001+01:00

Person(s) in the back bedroom have collective deafness, TV volume is on so loud can here it from the garden. Although this maybe an attempt to cover up ‘activities’. Bit obvious though.

Lots of banging and stomping goin on in rest of house.

At least our parole is through and we are up for early release soon.

You beauties!!

2009-06-01T08:47:00.001+01:00

Slowly slowly noisy monkey

2009-06-01T08:40:00.001+01:00

With the warm weather and new found friendships comes an unwelcome visitor. Late night discussions and early morning tv. 5:50 I got up this am, could hear front bedroom mans tele. Last night we went to bed in a communal state. As like a kibbutz without the making love on the shores of the sea of Galilee.

again from nowhere

2009-05-28T22:36:00.001+01:00

6-8 very loud double beats from the lounge disturb the silence, then fade away…. more of this and another call to the landlord is imminent.

As I finished typing…

2009-05-28T22:13:00.001+01:00

Turned it up very loud for 6 beats…….. wankers,,,, its passed 10pm

No, its not the washing machine

2009-05-28T22:10:00.001+01:00

Thought it was a pair of trainers going round and around…. Nope, thump thump thump is the boys getting down again…. sounds like its from the lounge, unusually. Different type music as well, long deep bass. Annoying just the same.

Count down continues…….

Slowly but surely

2009-05-20T21:11:00.001+01:00

The house on the left is finding its voice… from the ashes of eviction rises the flames of diatribe & castigation… I wager we will soon once again be cast into the depths of vituperation and general spuriousness.

shattered

2009-05-13T00:12:00.001+01:00

It appears that after a sustained period of just cupboard door banging punctuated with c-mans woo ha ha, next door have awoken once again, hopefully briefly.

C-mans room replacement treated me to a 15 min blast of rude music last friday afternoon, it wasn’t in rude music mans league but irritating none the less.

Then on saturday night lounge man invited a few people over. No loud music just chat along with screaming laughter. At one point they even woke the beast, but his cough just faded back into his room.

It must be said that none of this was at an unsociable level, its all just made much worse by these damn thin walls.

Me and c-man are getting divorced, plans are afoot …..

And so it begins…

2009-04-22T15:46:00.001+01:00

Coughing mans old room is now occupied, ‘Adam’ we think. He’s been as good as gold so far, but as I type we hear a dull rhythmic thumping coming from his room. It’s not overly loud, just very very deep and so its enough to irritate.

Oh well, we knew it was just a matter of time.

Cease fire broken

2009-04-20T07:53:00.001+01:00

After a while of relative quiet, we were treated to another blast from The Verve courtesy of our mate ‘coughing man’ yesterday evening. For approximately 2 hours he wound up the volume for all to wonder why… So that and the din of their washing machine on spin punctuated our Sunday evening. Fantastic.

Having said that…..

2009-04-15T17:46:00.001+01:00

Couple of other incidents proving how inconsiderate they are. There’s been a car on the drive since we moved in, never moved. Last week they got it down off the drive and tried to perform various procedures to start it… even to the lay-man, checking the oil level won’t fix a flat battery, but there ya go… takes all sorts.

Anyway, they performed these operations parked in front of our drive, blocking us in. Now is it just me, but that’s the first thing i would consider when working on a car? Suffice to say they couldn’t start it so unable to push back up the drive they left it on the road.(Well actually it was half on the road and half on the path, blocking the whole path. A passer-by, miffed at having to negotiate the blockage, quized us to our involvement, no we said, its them next door.

2am this morning, after my plugs and fallen free, I was awoken by shouting…

Its better

2009-04-15T17:40:00.001+01:00

The current crop of tenants seem, seem to have settled down. We still have c-man doing his best to turn himself inside out, but he appears in the kitchen so the barking fades out to his back bedroom or the bathroom. The others are fairly quiet although perhaps alarmingly for the summer months, seem to have made friends, we hear them laughing/talking in the kitchen. The washing machine seems to be getting more use, which can only be a good thing(?)

We have had ‘contact’ with them, last week one of em knocked at the door and asked if we had ‘wireless broadband’ and if so could he ‘borrow it’……… I declined, saying we didn’t have wireless …. I’m sure dear reader you will understand why….. :O)

Just so you know

2009-04-05T22:23:00.001+01:00

Still wearing earplugs, a must I’m afraid. It seems that one of the landlords questions you have to answer yes to is “Do you stay up to stupid o’clock on a regular basis, either with or without company?” oh and the other one is “Are you an agro phobic?”

DFS pyre

2009-04-05T22:15:00.001+01:00

Not sure if its an annual thing, hope not. But this week the girls and Mum witnessed a ‘sofa burning’ at the rear of next doors garden.

Where’s my Pot Noodle??!

2009-03-31T23:36:00.001+01:00

Not sure if that was what was being searched for but it sounded like c-man was dismantling the entire kitchen looking for his dried pasta fix.

It’s the dull thumping that gets on your wick more than anything, even the washing machine, at least you know that’s going to end.

Ingrained

2009-03-26T19:30:00.001Z

Isobel can do an uncannily good mimic of c-mans cough!! Can’t say we have missed hearing him turning his guts inside out since he moved to the back room, but he pops back into our lives every now and again when the call to his pot noodle in the kitchen becomes too great.

We call Belle, Coughing mans girlfriend.

Saw him hanging out his washing at the weekend. Looks about 12. Items included a Chelsea shirt, 2 x shorts and a baseball cap.

Progress…. (?)

2009-03-11T15:34:00.001Z

Have spoken with the agent about the situation and we got a call today to say that they in turn have spoken to the landlord who has called next doors landlord. Apparently he has been getting complaints (no, not about us) from the other ‘inmates’. As a result one has already been evicted and another is out this coming Sunday. Coughing-man I wonder?

Old up.. its handbags again

2009-03-10T20:28:00.001Z

Not sure who, as c-man has upset the status quo by changing rooms, but someone has just stormed into lounge-mans room…. “GET OUT OF MY F***G GAFF YOU C***T!!” … followed by some crashing and shouting and more crashing…

Ease up girls….

Ooh could be c-man losing it, Chelsea aren’t doing to well against Juve….

Considering seriously

2009-03-09T14:59:00.001Z

Moving the lounge into the dining room, the dining room into the play area and that into the lounge! Got it?! I will be asking questions…

Lounge-man is starting to irritate with the loudness of his TV, although I must say that the fault isn’t really with the volume, but with how damn thin our walls are. Ridiculous.

Confirmed

2009-03-06T22:29:00.001Z

‘Lounge-man’ is here, and judging by the silhouette of his TV through the front window, its very small, but, he has a very large sound system… you can guess the rest. But I have to say that placing my ear to the wall, it doesn’t sound overly loud, its just the thinness of these damn walls. We reckon there’s no insulation between walls, which can only be 1 course thick. Crap.

7 1/2 months left.

Gaming?

2009-03-06T11:14:00.001Z

We can’t work out if next doors lounge is a lounge or a bedroom. New boy (no name yet, working on it) was in there yesterday, either playing music, watching TV or gaming. Anyway, whatever he was doing he was doing it ‘loudly’. Is it a prerequisite I wonder? Does the landlord have a tick box which asks “do you, on a regular basis, like to turn volumes up?”

Adjustment

2009-03-02T21:43:00.001Z

There’s a lot of Scraping and moving going on, don’t care what it all means as long as it does mean we hear less from the girls next door.

One down….

2009-03-01T19:30:00.002Z

We think that the new bloke who was occupying the ‘lounge’ room has left. After friday nights loudness and crashing its hardly surprising.

Would love to talk to him about it! But he’s gone, drove off earlier today with all his belongings packed to the roof.

Tis a sample, in it.

2009-03-01T19:28:00.001Z

Tonights update…

2009-02-28T00:28:00.001Z

Still various odd noises from next door, crashing in lounge, door slamming in kitchen.

Another heavy bang that made our glass table top jump…

and another, not so loud…. think c-man’s music is on again, but not as loud as before.

Have we been stitched up by the owners or what?!

C-man, his pram, toys out

2009-02-27T23:56:00.001Z

Yeah, more banging from c-man’s room, she’s definitely got her knickers in a twist.

and it goes on

2009-02-27T23:52:00.001Z

Big crash then, made floor shake…. what are they doing…. No yelling, so perhaps one of the little shits is pissed.

Someone’s definitely throwing his weight around more crashing from kitchen I think.

Perhaps it’s c-man …. someone nicked his toilet roll again.

That’s new

2009-02-27T23:46:00.001Z

Sitting here watching tv and sounded like someone burst into next doors lounge room, knocked over some furniture and left!

What a fantastic place to live this is.

Think the dynamic has changed next door………

Boom boom boom……

2009-02-27T22:53:00.001Z

The sound of the guns has stopped, does that mean we are going over the top? or are they just reloading?

What’s happened?

2009-02-27T20:32:00.001Z

We think, but we might be wrong, that rude music man has gone… his room has been very quiet, although there is someone in there. Room has also been moved about… Hmmm… lets hope it stays that way.

Now just to tame c-mans latent tendencies……

2 songs to turn down

2009-02-27T20:30:00.001Z

Coffin man has his music up very loud, unusual for him… he has 2 songs to turn it down…..

Morning constitutional

2009-02-18T09:14:00.001Z

Ahhhh, another morning, a stretch, a fiddle and a bout of ‘turn myself inside out’ coughing, wonderful to be alive… smoking I <cough> love it <cough> so much… <cough>

Coffin man . . .

2009-02-17T20:34:00.001Z

. . . is singing now……

Same old same old

2009-02-17T20:01:00.001Z

Not much to report. Same as usual, coffin man at it still, poor sod, feeling sorry for him now… no! stop it! Rude music man has been less noisy of late. As I type coffin has his music on louder than normal, he’s not normally at that for long….. at least it’s listenable… "”Bitter Sweet Symphony” – The Verve…. sums up living here…

Had to make a change

2009-02-10T06:44:00.001Z

Finally gave in and moved the kids from the larger 2nd bedroom into the smaller 3rd. Now Belle in particular has another wall inbetween her and coffin man, and the periodic bouts of Lionel/Whitney from rude-music man. Speaking of music, we were all very surprised to hear our supposed ally coff, playing his stereo on sunday. His taste is more tuneful than others, but his interjection again proves how fine the balance is here between expected family isolation and complete public violation.

Belle will be up soon

2009-02-05T22:08:00.001Z

Coffin man woke us up this morning with his barking. He’s at it again now, poor Belle, scares her.

Still at it

2009-02-05T17:39:00.001Z

At 1am on Monday (into Tuesday) and Wednesday (into Thursday) this week we were treated to the preferred ‘sounds’ of the pratts next door. It seems as well that rude music-man has some competition in that last night a party was in full swing in the lounge, great, that’s a new one! Can’t say I’m excited….

Since taking to wearing ear plugs all I hear is the dull thud thud of the music whilst I try and get to sleep. Poor Lynne gets home to be greeted by these annoyances.

It’s all wrong. Things will have to change, if we are still here in the summer with no prospect of ending our contract till the years up, then we will be reporting them to the Council.

That’s almost an hour now.

2009-01-25T22:43:00.001Z

Coffin man stomped around his room for almost an hour again tonight. What is he doing. I think he’s sorting our his small’s and such, but why so long? Surely it’s a five minute job?

An ally?

2009-01-23T19:33:00.001Z

Rude music man just put it on loud, went up into our room, was just about to bang on wall and someone from in their house shouted "turn it down!" and he did, well turned it off actually. What’s wrong with him?!
Every time i work from home, I keep a look out for him, coz sure he’s the bloke whose got the car, anyway all I ever see is the car driving off, then its back again! Never see him!

At it again….

2009-01-23T11:25:00.001Z

No, not Lionel… the original coffin man. In his bedroom all day, everyday, coughing…. Been like it for weeks and weeks now, the sad lazy git.

Surely but surely he might of considered a trip to the docs, his room must be thick with smoke.

Ease up Lionel

2009-01-22T08:04:00.002Z

Tuesday night was a repeat of Monday, Lionel and Whitney were at it again, same M.O. same CD, same damn loud music at 1am.....

I fortuanately was oblivious, earplugs.

Why oh why oh why .... do I feel like I've stepped back in time and am a stoooooooodent again!!

2009-01-20T22:08:00.002Z

................. because my friends, we are in the unfortunate position or renting a house that is adjoined to a male house-share-from hell, the likes of which are above beyond what would be considered "normal" by anyone's standards.

1. They never leave their room
2. They never turn off their TV
3. They sleep during the day
4. They ALL look no older than 15!
5. (Apart from one resident who we have yet to see but who definately lives in the box room - unless someone has killed him and they just turn the light on and off now and again as a cover story!)

I feel sorry for the guy who lives in the lounge - we never hear any noise from him but he is always there as, again, the light goes on and off and the blinds are always closed during the day.

What is it with these people. They cant be students because they never go out and they cant have jobs because they never go out - so the only conclusion I can draw is that it is a drug den for down and out school children!!

ANYWAY, the reason for this insertion is that I would like to point out that it is UNACCEPTABLE behaviour!. When I come in from work late at night after a hard night's work i DO NOT expect to have to endure loud TV noise at 1AM in the MORNING. So much so, that I have taken to wearing earplugs in bed every night to drown it out.

How sorry are they going to be next week, when I start putting MY MUSIC on at 7am in the morning when I get up to take the kids to school. HAH, if i'm not getting enough sleep then NEITHER IS HE - the big sorry loser.

Boom boom boom

2009-01-20T21:57:00.001Z

Tonight, I will be mostly walking up & down my bedroom, with these big heavy boots on. What is he up to?

Unreasonable Lionel

2009-01-20T07:44:00.002Z

Its midnight in the house. Coughing man is in his cave, one of the housemates is remonstrating with him....

Some tiff over access to eachothers rooms, somethings gone missing, toilet roll or an xbox, apparently both are held in equal esteem. Point is, I could hear every word and when it was over, the slam that C-man inflicted on his door shook the girls room.

Twaz but the beginning. Just after the lovers spat, Mr Lionel Richie arrived and very annoyingly indeed sang "Hello" three times in succession at almost bang on the wall with the heal of your shoe volume. Thankfully somone must of said something as Lionels then Whitneys performance levels were adjusted from completely unacceptable to just plain intrusive. Judging by the occasional louder than the music laughter and banter, it was now obvious to me that rude music-man had somehow managed to attract a female and was using bump and grind music to attempt to engage bump and grind.

Upshot? Lynne arrived home about one and I was still awake. The ear plugs she found for me made me spin back to 1969 and my primary teachers mantra...... Silence is golden.

I woke up sometime later to remove Belle from the foot of our bed back to hers, who had obviously woken up objecting to the still grinding serenade at 3am in the morning. Funny, I'd of put money on rude music-man only manging one "Hello".

A gentle roll of thunder

2009-01-16T22:04:00.000Z

To keep costs down, next door must have bare floor boards, paintless bare walls and a no-slippers use hob-nail boots policy in operation. Thundering up the stairs, slamming the odd door on the way, coffin man falls into his room for yet another night of lonely contemplation.

Video kills any chance of sleep...

2009-01-16T10:49:00.000Z

Rude-music man next to us has taken to watching his TV until silly o'clock in the morning, it woke me up at 02:30 this morning.

Coffin Chelsea

2009-01-16T10:37:00.000Z

As coffin man is a Chelsea fan, a hermit, has no friends and always watches Chelsea matches from his room, I wasn't looking forward to the match between them and Southend last wednesday. Chelsea won 4-1 and on every goal coffin man whollered, whooped and chanted liked they'd won the champions league. Luckily for him the noise didn't wake the girls.

On the same night, I'm sure I heard a washing machine finishing it's cycle, in their lounge??

Not looking forward to the summer....

The Reason

2009-01-16T10:24:00.000Z

Friday November 14th 2008 we moved in, friday November 14th 2008 it started. The original culprit was the bloke who is adjoined to the main bedroom. Not only is his taste in music offensive, it was unresonably loud. He was soon joined by 'coughing (or coffin) man', so named by the girls, who has now been coughing for approximately 5 weeks solid. See a doctor man!

It immediately became clear to us that the walls between these houses are ridiculously thin, if you put your ear to the wall in the girls bedroom you can hear a normal level conversation as clear as if they were in the same room. We have spoken 3 times to the landlord for next door. After promising to do something about it during the first two calls, in the last conversation he basically washed his hands of the issue until I mentioned that we then would have no choice but to make this problem official and report it to the council. He just responded with agression and accused me of threatening him.

Since then the noice level has abaited somewhat, but it's steadily rising now as the complete disrespect of the gits next door makes them forget how they've been told to behave.